Apathy

I cannot seem to shake myself of the impending doom of deployment. My house is a wreck, my skin is a wreck, my eating habits are...crap. And, so, I feel like crap. I have some weird need to organize absolutely everything before Shawn leaves so I don't turn into the mom who forgets. Which is just laughable, since I forget everything now.

Pictures will follow soon showing my efforts in organization of the kids' closets, but child services would be called anonymously if I put those up now. I do not know where to begin with any cleaning endeavor, so I have enlisted a very nice lady to come clean my house on Saturday. I feel like a complete and total loser because of this, but also I am chomping at the bit and cannot wait for her to come.

The only control I feel I have in life right now is food. Yesterday I started Paleo again with a vengeance and vow to keep it up. Hopefully if I get my eating back on track I can find some piece of mind. I guess I never realized what an a crazy control freak I am. Huh.