The Finest Drivers

I was terrified to drive in Germany. Terrified. The Autobahn scared the shit out of me, with BMWs careening toward my rearview mirror at mind-numbing speeds as I tried to pass a semi going 80 kph. I finally got the hang of it and so did the Germans, just passing me no matter what my speed when they saw my American Military car tag with a million stars on it...hard to miss. The cars in Germany don't even have cup holders because you aren't supposed to be doing anything but concentrating on the road. At speeds of 200 kph+ it's life or death for not paying attention. I would be interested to see the statistics of texting and driving in Germany, since I just saw what can happen at the speed of 15 mph (below).

I thought I'd seen crazy driving...and then I moved to NM. I seriously doubt many of the drivers here have even heard of a driving class, since I almost always get run over by people turning left at a two-way stop when I have the right-of-way. Even at a 4-way stop, people just go with the person in front of them, like no one is going to notice. Oh well. I digress.

I saw texting and driving at it's finest today, at the Elementary School no less. She hit the curb so hard that she didn't have time to correct and rammed right into the street light, bringing the light fixture from 50 feet up screaming down. Yep, not even 9 am, and she just drove off. I guess with the reputation of the state, she could've been drunk. At least my van that just got out of the shop is still beautiful with it's spankin' new paint job. Don't text and drive people.

#1 topic: Daddy

I spent all weekend listening to women who have never been a wife in the Army or know what the Army is tell me how to deal with deployment and what it is. It was very kind of them to put us up in a hotel and feed us, I guess that meant they had the right to talk to us like children.

Friday night, one hour after arrival,

Speaker (in a cheery sing-song that made me want to vomit): Okay! We are going to talk about rules! Everyone LOVES rules, right?! They give us boundaries!

Me (whispering to my neighbor): How much you wanna bet me it's no drinking?

Speaker: NOOOOOOO ALCOHOL! I know, alcohol makes us feel better, but it really doesn't let you be PRESENT, you know? You have to be present for all the GREAT information you are going to get this weekend!

By the time she had stopped talking many people had cleared the room to go and break rule #1.

I know that rule #2 was "No cell phones" but I had quit listening. All in all it was okay, the last day had the most information that was totally rushed through. Saturday we listened to hippy music and closed our eyes to go to our "happy place". Good times. We also did a Psychology 101 exercise that helped us figure out what personality type we were, and that was fun, but I have no idea how it tied into helping me cope with being the sole parent, house-fixer, bill-payer, car oil-changer and everything-under-the-sun for a year. Lots of laughs, though, since Shawn and I were TOTAL opposites. Another great opposite was the parenting session, where apparently everything I'm doing and have done and will do is absolutely wrong. Especially dialogue with the children. I really did try to change my word choice when we were having dinner, but, alas, all was for naught. *sigh*

The nice part was meeting Army wives that I haven't met. I've been missing that connection lately, since the only person who really knows how our world is about to be turned upside down is an Army wife. I even met some who can paint and use a drill. Although, my husband was vehemently against a drill-using lesson for me.

The kids got backpacks full of what-nots, including writing packets for letters to Daddy, and "Daddy-dolls". They are thrilled with their contraband, and haven't asked lately if Daddy is going to "fight the bad guys". I seriously don't know where they got that phrase, we have never mentioned anything but that Daddy is going to help people, just like he does here. I write "we" loosely, since I am not always around to censor what my husband says to my children. Maybe he should take the parenting class instead of me, the introverted recluse that he is.

...

I am beginning to NOT like talking on the phone. GASP.

I was on the phone all morning dealing with this pre-deployment weekend thing coming up. And I drove about 50,000 miles today for 3 errands because we live in BFE. And I saw a sign in my BFE neighborhood stating that there will be a meeting about building townhouses. Seriously?!

And I decided to drop out of my Bunco group. The thought of one more thing that I might possibly need a babysitter for just makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry.

I thought Spring Break was supposed to be relaxing. We've been on the go since Friday, when SB started, and will be gone most of the day tomorrow. I am exhausted.

And tomorrow I will be on the phone, all morning, again, trying to find a venue for a meet and greet for the unit. Go team.

Guilt trip

A few days ago my kids started whining in the car, where I couldn't get away from them, since the music never goes up THAT loud, about me never taking them to the zoo. An added bonus was that it was in 3rd person.

Maren: Mama never takes us to the zoo to see the animals.

Haydon: I know, we never get to see the animals.

Blake: We haven't been there in a loooonnnnggggg time.

Maren: Maybe we can go after church.

Haydon: Yay! After church we'll go to the zoo!

Blake: That's a great idea.

Well, it was decided. We actually did not go to church or Sunday School, since a tall, dark and handsome man showed up at my house around 11:30 the night before and stayed for breakfast. Poor guy, the kids hugged him and then went on their jolly ways, since he's never here anymore. Sigh.

But that's not where my guilt trip ends. At the zoo they tried to guilt trip me into letting them play at the playground there, but it is so hard to watch them with the million other kids, I always say no when I'm alone. Yes, this was AFTER they got to ride the train. Ungrateful, I tell you.

After the animal scene, we went to the shoe store to replace my Vibrams. Yes, I washed them once, like the instructions said, on warm. The glue came apart. It was pretty painless except for me being schooled by the pregnant hippie-child at the customer service counter. First she asked me what kind of detergent I use, and, of course, according to her, it was the wrong kind. I then explained that I have a front load washer and that it takes a specific kind of detergent, which apparently wasn't the greatest idea, since SHE WASHES ALL HER CAMPING SHIT BY HAND. At this point, my kids are being very good, but all I can hear is her berating tone of how to make my own detergent and how it's so much better for everything, and Blake and Maren are playing the touch-me-softly-and-I-won't-scream-very-loud-unless-it-hurts-game and Haydon is meticulously taking apart the plastic stand in front of the register with all the cards and fliers. I know I had a completely incredulous look on my face and I just interrupted her and said, "I have three kids so creating my own laundry soap won't work for me." She then went on to explain the ingredients and write them down for me. She was so kind. Really.

I did get my shoes replaced and the men in the shoe department were much nicer and didn't ask me what kind of soap I used to wash my body, which could in turn peel the glue out of my Vibrams to make them fall apart. That was a much better experience.

Picture post

Pinewood Derby

Red car is Blake's

Obviously Haydon is terrified of Lancelot after the big fight