Guilt trip

A few days ago my kids started whining in the car, where I couldn't get away from them, since the music never goes up THAT loud, about me never taking them to the zoo. An added bonus was that it was in 3rd person.

Maren: Mama never takes us to the zoo to see the animals.

Haydon: I know, we never get to see the animals.

Blake: We haven't been there in a loooonnnnggggg time.

Maren: Maybe we can go after church.

Haydon: Yay! After church we'll go to the zoo!

Blake: That's a great idea.

Well, it was decided. We actually did not go to church or Sunday School, since a tall, dark and handsome man showed up at my house around 11:30 the night before and stayed for breakfast. Poor guy, the kids hugged him and then went on their jolly ways, since he's never here anymore. Sigh.

But that's not where my guilt trip ends. At the zoo they tried to guilt trip me into letting them play at the playground there, but it is so hard to watch them with the million other kids, I always say no when I'm alone. Yes, this was AFTER they got to ride the train. Ungrateful, I tell you.

After the animal scene, we went to the shoe store to replace my Vibrams. Yes, I washed them once, like the instructions said, on warm. The glue came apart. It was pretty painless except for me being schooled by the pregnant hippie-child at the customer service counter. First she asked me what kind of detergent I use, and, of course, according to her, it was the wrong kind. I then explained that I have a front load washer and that it takes a specific kind of detergent, which apparently wasn't the greatest idea, since SHE WASHES ALL HER CAMPING SHIT BY HAND. At this point, my kids are being very good, but all I can hear is her berating tone of how to make my own detergent and how it's so much better for everything, and Blake and Maren are playing the touch-me-softly-and-I-won't-scream-very-loud-unless-it-hurts-game and Haydon is meticulously taking apart the plastic stand in front of the register with all the cards and fliers. I know I had a completely incredulous look on my face and I just interrupted her and said, "I have three kids so creating my own laundry soap won't work for me." She then went on to explain the ingredients and write them down for me. She was so kind. Really.

I did get my shoes replaced and the men in the shoe department were much nicer and didn't ask me what kind of soap I used to wash my body, which could in turn peel the glue out of my Vibrams to make them fall apart. That was a much better experience.